The Real Sunshine of Living

When you have written as much as I have you start to wonder if you have repeated yourself. And if you have, did anyone notice? I admit I am a word nerd. There is nothing like connecting words to draw out emotion and thought from an unsuspecting soul. There are countless untold stories just waiting for a listening ear. Someone to lean-in and consume their joy, their angst, their loss; to sit with them in their memories, if just for a moment.

My words are no different than anyone else's. They can be found in a dictionary, searched online, run through spell-check. But I hope my words do more than tell a story. My hope is that they convict you, charge you, inspire you, challenge you – to DO something. The world needs more doers. Anybody can throw money at a situation. Anybody can hop on social media and be part of something. But what about actual human connection? The kind where souls are changed and relationships come alive.

Not everyone has time for this, Becky. I used to think that, too. But I was wrong. And I feel confident in saying, I think you may be wrong as well. My phone tells me I am on it an average of 5 hours and 44 minutes each day. That was eye-opening for me. Then I looked at where that time was spent. Facebook held top billing at 58 minutes. Next, text messages at 49 minutes. The rest was spread out over music, maps/GPS, grocery app, a couple games, Instagram, my Bible app, an audiobook, etc. More than five hours every day with my phone.

I told myself if I took one hour and 44 minutes and did something meaningful with it, then I could live with the four hours which were left. I don't watch much TV unless it's winter and the temperature is frigid. My screen-time was clenched in my hand. With this new-found block of time, I could exercise, study my Bible, send actual cards, visit a friend, spend time with my parents, the list became an endless reminder of things I used to do ten years ago. To be honest, it was a little depressing.

I will be the first to admit the cellphone is not the only reason human connection is decreasing in the world today. But it is my opinion that a cellphone is part of my problem. Yes, my plate is full. Heck, my plate is messy and overflowing. I could list off infinite tasks I manage daily, and you would wonder how it all fit into a 24-hours - make that 18 hours and 56 minutes. My guess is that a lot of you have an infinite task list as well. We are middle-aged humans who care for parents while we parent. We are young adults in search of careers, love and money, but don't know where to start. We are caregivers for extended family members who deserve dignity. We work from home, and outside the home. We carpool to school and shuttle kids to sports events. We love our pets and our church. We are passionate about the cause and exhausted by the rhetoric. We plant the garden, bake the bread, feed the chickens and cook the meal, all while we just want to go through the drive through. We do not seem to have time to live our own lives. What does this say about us? For me, I think it says slow down and choose wisely.

I want to write more. The thoughts in my head need to meet a keyboard instead of another word game on my phone. I need to exercise because I know my health depends on it. I want to study my Bible more. I need to have a thoughtful visit with another human on a regular basis. Not work-related. Not caregiver related. Not kid related. Just a visit. Maybe help them with a task or bring them a loaf of banana bread. I don't know. But in my one hour and 44 minutes each day I want to make a change. I want to shift my train of thought. I want to be present. That is going to take some reprogramming.

Yes, I have run the numbers and divided out my time to see how best this could be done. What honest person hasn't? But what I decided is, it doesn't matter. What matters is, “What am I DOing?” When is the last time I shut out the noise and really connected to another person's story? When is the last time I left my phone in the car and had an undistracted conversation? It's been a while folks.

My life is busy, and I am always distracted. I need to start somewhere. And I am starting with one hour and 44 minutes each day. This is not a pass or fail. This is – just try.

What are you going to DO with your time? I want to hear about you elbows deep into an act of service. I want to hear about how you discovered your neighbor's awesome accomplishment. I want to know about the story you heard while undistracted and engaged with another human. I want you to tell me something you are DOing :)

Then together, one minute at a time, we can spread joy in our communities without controversy and wifi. Just neighborly folks sharing in each other’s joy and pain, because that is what life is all about.

I'll leave you with four lines from Canadian poet Robert W. Service. The poem is titled, “Carry on!”

To labor with zest, and to give of your best,

For the sweetness and joy of the giving;

To help folks along with a hand and a song;

Why, there's the real sunshine of living.

Your Friend, B